Three Ways to Constructively Evaluate Your Year
We share constructive criticism and feedback with others, both professionally and personally. Why wouldn’t we take the same care to provide it for ourselves.
Maybe that title captured your attention…. hopefully in a good way. I was careful to stay positive, as what’s done is done. There’s no turning back this far into December. The best we can do is move forward celebrating our successes and making a plan for what did not work as well as we would have liked.
According to the Helpful Professor, Constructive Criticism is defined as “honest, genuine, well-meaning feedback that provides a critique of the strengths and weaknesses of something or someone. The criticism should be specific and offers clear suggestions on how to address deficiencies. Remarks should be clear and the suggestions provided should be feasible and reasonable.”
Let’s use the last few days of this month to effectively evaluate this past year! We share constructive criticism and feedback with others, both professionally and personally. Why wouldn’t we take the same care to provide it for ourselves? Here are a few of my tips on how we can do this:
Give yourself praise where praise is due!
Without even knowing the details of your life, I know for sure that you made it through. I mean… look at you, you’re here reading my thoughts and opinions with your full faculties intact (well, most of them at least, it is still a busy holiday season).
But seriously, YOU ARE HERE. So many others are not here and able to say the same thing! We cannot take our waking up this morning lightly. So, think about your successes… maybe helping your child make it through their first semester of school (kindergarten or college), celebrating a milestone birthday, getting married or having a child, ending a relationship that was no longer healthy for you, starting a new career or even ending a career path that no longer… WHATEVER your specifics may be, you are worthy of being celebrated. PLEASE do so!
Assess how you’ve handled adversity:
Honestly, this particular category will need some work for me personally in the coming year. When facing adversity, I tend to be a little too hard on myself and dwell on the negative aspect of a particular situation. That’s not helpful to me, nor the situation.
Something to think about: what does adversity encompass for you? It may include a change in your health, a new medical diagnosis, a loss of job or family, worry and stress, or even an overwhelming responsibility. Whatever if may be for you, think back on how you’ve handled it in the past or presently. Does that response serve you well? Or would you benefit from making adjustments moving forward? Sometimes, it simply takes a change of mindset, while other times it may require a full personal overhaul that includes adjusting your body’s physical and spiritual responses, in addition to the mental.
Get comfortable with asking for help:
Oof! This one is big, well bigger than you think… Sometimes you may choose to take on a task or an assignment alone, when getting some help would be much more beneficial and truly help lighten your load. This fact is true for the workplace, but most definitely in our personal lives as well.
Think about a time when you had a GRAND plan to accomplish something, but fell short of your own expectations OR maybe you didn’t even complete what you set out to do! YEESH! Turns out all you needed was a little assistance, but perhaps you were too proud, too shy, or too stubborn to ask for the help. DON’T let that be you in 2024. Let’s not allow an opportunity pass us by, simply because we didn’t get the help we needed. Remember, sometimes bigger wins can be attained through collaboration.
As I shared above, the best way we can move forward at this point is by celebrating our successes and making a plan for what did not work. Just remember to be kind to yourself… acknowledge what went well, assess how you handle adversity, and get comfy asking for help!
3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Setback
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will…
A Setback Is a Setup For a Comeback!
Maybe you’ve heard that quote before….. a book, an inspirational poem, a sermon from your favorite pastor. I first heard it many years ago around this time of the year. A visiting pastor gave a sermon with that title during Resurrection Week revival at church. While I cannot remember the details he shared, the concept definitely stuck with me to this day.
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will come out on the other side victoriously! But remember, it may take a little work on your own behalf... read below as I explain.
As if the past few years haven’t been enough with the pandemic, war, national civil turmoil, increased illnesses, lost jobs & lost lives, we still each have our own personal battles that we are dealing with. Sometimes it seems that just when one particular situation is under control, something else pops up to knock us off our square. Feels like you cannot catch a break! I mean, seriously, what did you do (and to whom did you do it) to bring on these disruptions to your well-oiled, well-planned out life??!!! Well, don’t take it personally, you’re not alone. It’s all part of this thing called life that we are truly blessed to be living. So, what do we do???…..
Ways to Bounce Back
Set clear & precise intentions
Decide what you want your comeback to look like, what it should entail. Pray about it, then take action. That may mean speaking the words out loud to a loved one, making a list, creating a vision board, or even recording yourself speaking your comeback intro fruition.
And be specific…I’m talking down to the nitty-gritty details. Include each step you will take, today, tonight, tomorrow, next week, and even next month. We’ve got to be intentional about coming back strong, armed and ready to meet and defeat any obstacle that stands to get in our way.
Acknowledge what you may need to do differently
We are not perfect. *Gasp! We all make mistakes and poor choices. That’s all part of this life we’re living that I mentioned above. But it's all part of growing and getting better, bouncing back even.
Once you’ve learned a lesson or found the error in your ways, action may need to be taken on your part. This might include switching up your usual mode of operation, apologizing to someone, retraining yourself on a particular topic, or even just holding yourself accountable for your own private thoughts. Lay it all on the line, but at the same time don’t be too hard on yourself. Show yourself some grace throughout this process. Challenging situations can often teach us what we have left to learn.
Take care of yourself
Take your time and take care of yourself. There’s no rush in healing and regrouping. I mean we do want to come back stronger, right? Read and reread motivational, inspirational, or encouraging words from others. Earlier, I mentioned prayer because it has most definitely helped me through some of the most difficult trials of my life. However, I also know the importance of reading biographies, and certainly autobiographies, of those who have been there, done that…. specifically meaning that they may have experienced adversity and difficult times, but they are willing share their ways of overcoming.
Other ideas include getting outdoors, getting moving, and in turn, getting inspired. Wake up early to catch the sunrise with a brisk walk. Listen to the birds chirp to be reminded of the beauty that surrounds us. Complete a workout to sweat out any worries and get your heart pumping with anticipation of the change to come.
If I can leave you with anything, it’s to remember that difficult roads lead to beautiful destination. Be optimistic about your bounce back, your outcome could be something new and more exciting than you ever even imagined possible for yourself.
6 Thoughtful Holiday Gift Ideas - For Yourself and Others
When done with a grateful heart, giving can also be good for our health. It promotes a sense of trust and cooperation and can be a form of stress relief. Here are 6 ideas for giving this season….giving to others, and yourself as well.
‘Tis the season for giving. And, as you may have heard before, it is better to give than to receive. Not only does giving encourage social connection with others (people or a cause), but it can also give us a feeling of contentment and gratitude. When done with a grateful heart, giving can also be good for our health. It promotes a sense of trust and cooperation and can be a form of stress relief.
The purpose of this particular blog post is to share ideas for giving this season….giving to others, as well as yourself.
““No one has ever become poor by giving.””
Gift #1 - Share the gift of health & fitness
You know I had to begin with this one. And, while I would love for you to purchase personalized services from me, there are so many FREE ways to connect with others and get moving. Consider inviting a friend or loved one on a neighborhood walk or a hike through a local trail. This is an awesome way to spend quality time, get some fresh air, and get your bodies moving.
Gift #2 - Share the gift of gratitude
Acknowledge someone who has been a supporter, encourager and motivator in your life. If possible, reach out to that person today and say thank you, again. The simple act of saying thank you can truly brighten someone's day and be just what they need to keep doing more of the same. Consider sharing your thanks with a handwritten note.
Gift #3 - Prepare and share a homecooked meal
Are you an expert in the kitchen? Or, maybe you have a specialty dish or dessert that everyone loves! Food is always a welcomed treat to give and receive, especially the thoughtfulness of a homecooked meal.
Gift #4 - Share your passion with free lessons
What is your area of expertise? Have you considered teaching or training others to become more skilled in that area? Offering one to two free lessons could be just the inspiration someone may need to lift their spirits and provide a new interest. Scrapbooking, crocheting, knitting, photography, dancing, or playing an instrument are a few ideas that come to mind.
Gift #5 - Give the gift of babysitting
Have a little extra time on your hands? How fun would it be to share some of that time with a friend or loved one’s children! If you have the space, the amenities, and patience, I’m sure it would be a welcomed gift for a parent well-deserving of some time off.
Gift #6 - Don’t forget the “Me” in Merry
Remember to take care of yourself during this holiday season. With as much excitement and joy that comes along with the holidays, there is also the potential for stress and anxiety. Make sure to take the time to do what you need to for yourself.
I’m going to spend a little time here describing a few different ways that you might practice self-care for the holidays.
Take a nap: The hustle and bustle of the season can be tiring. Rest when you need to, rest whenever you can. However, keep your naps short and sweet. According to www.sleepfoundation.org , naps lasting 10 to 20 minutes are considered the ideal length. They are sometimes referred to as “power naps” because they provide recovery benefits without leaving the napper feeling sleepy afterward.
Just say no: This was a tough lesson for me to learn, but I finally mastered it…for the most part. Saying yes all of the time is not beneficial to our health and wellness. Although you may have the time, money, and energy available to give, the cost may still end up being too expensive for your wellbeing.
Watch a cheesy holiday movie: Sometimes seasonal romance movies or television shows are just what we need to escape reality for an hour or two. You know the ones…. a corporate executive is given an assignment to return to her small hometown to assist with a family matter, when she reunites and falls back in love with her high school summer camp boyfriend. Ha! Don’t act like you haven’t seen that storyline (or one similar) before!
Get some exercise: Take a walk, join a group fitness class, catch a workout online, etc. Exercising is a great way to improve your mood due to the increase in endorphin production.
Bake: That’s right, I said bake. Yes, I realize that I just suggested exercise one bullet point above! The two options do not have to be separate from one another. Our focus must be on living a balanced life, not an all-or-nothing approach, which can be dangerous. I always love baking during this time of the year, for myself and for others. Finding a recipe, gathering the ingredients, and putting it all together can be very therapeutic…. especially if it happens to taste good!
Remember, gift giving (whether to yourself or others) is something that should not be a chore, best coming from the heart. When we give, we should be giving willingly without wanting something in return. That goes for our self-care, as well. We do not need to set to-dos or tasks in place to be completed before we take care of ourselves. Rather, we should do what we can, break to take care of ourselves, then continue on with a renewed energy. Let’s move forward with gifting ourselves with care, so that we can better serve others. Happy Holidays!
5 Health & Wellness Tips For The Fall Season
As we head into the final three months of 2021, take advantage of the seasonal changes to focus on making positive and healthy changes in your own life!
It’s that glorious time of the year, Fall! The time of the year known for pumpkin-spice treats and beautifully colored falling leaves. And while the days may be shorter, the weather is also milder. What a wonderful opportunity for each of us to take note of our own position in this space and focus on finishing the year out strong.
As we head into the final three months of 2021, take advantage of the seasonal changes to focus on making positive and healthy changes in your own life!
Here are a few tips to help you stay focused on your health & wellness this season:
Set goals & intentions:
Decide what you want to accomplish over the next few months. Be specific. In fact, create SMART goals. What is a SMART goal, you might ask. Well, it is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. For example: As opposed to saying “I want to run a 5k sometime soon”, a SMART goal would say “I plan on completing the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot 5k in November, and will prepare by training 3 days per week until then”.
Write your goals down. Make sure they are visible, not tucked away in a drawer. The more accessible they are, the more they will serve as a reminder for what needs to be done and when it needs to be done.
Get the family involved:
With the weather cooling down, outdoor activities become more bearable for the entire family. This season presents so many opportunities to take advantage of this change… think pumpkin patches, community charity/holiday races, state fairs, and even local parks and state forests. All of this outdoor activity will give you (and the family) the opportunity to take in some fresh air, Vitamin D, get your muscles moving, and not to mention, it can do wonders for your mental health & wellness.
Be mindful of nutrition choices:
As I mentioned above, the fall season also brings tons of sweet treats and drinks. Pumpkin-spiced this… caramel-flavored that…. you know, the really tasty, tempting, hard-to-resist holiday goodies. Now, I’m not suggesting that you avoid them completely, because I’m definitely not. I’m simply reminding you to be mindful. These last three months of the year include holidays that focus heavily on candies, pies, cakes, cocktails, and more. Enjoy yourself, but do not undo all of the progress you have made, thus far. If you do find yourself enjoying those seasonal goodies a little too much one day, just refocus and start again the next day. Don’t make it a situation that lasts throughout the end of the year, causing you to settle on the idea of waiting on a fresh start in 2022. Don’t wait! Be intentional right now, so that 2022 is just a continuation of the healthy lifestyle you have already established this year!
Renew commitment to self-care:
As 2021 has progressed, you may have found yourself taking care of others more than yourself. It happens, it’s normal. But, use this changing of the seasons to renew your commitment to yourself and get back on track. A few ideas might include:
Establish daily or weekly quiet time for devotion, prayer, or meditation
Continue or begin writing in a journal
Treat yourself to a massage or another spa service
Choose a new book to read or pick up the one collecting dust on your nightstand
Try a new class… think cooking, painting, cookie decorating, or even learning to play an instrument
Whatever you decide, just make sure that it’s for you.. your choice, on your schedule, and as often as you deem necessary.
Be realistic, be patient, & stay consistent:
Hopefully, you followed the guidelines listed above and created SMART goals for yourself. With those goals always top of mind, remember to be realistic. This time of the year has to potential to be very enjoyable, don’t let happiness get lost by being too hard-nosed when it comes to your goals. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. Do not get caught up with strict diets or overworking yourself with exercise. Instead, focus on making changes (or adjustments) that aid in creating lifestyle changes and lifetime habits. We’re on this journey for the long-haul, y’all! Your consistency will reap positive, productive, and measurable rewards.
Remember, it’s a new season. This is the perfect opportunity to do something NEW, something BOLD, and something BEAUTIFUL! Whatever that may look like for you, I simply ask that you give it your all. You deserve your effort. Take advantage of the seasonal changes to focus on making positive & healthy changes in your own life!
Fall In Love…
Fall in love…. with yourself, first. In my opinion, before we can properly love and serve others, we must know how to properly love and care for ourselves. You know that saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? Well, that means even with the best intentions, we cannot give the best of ourselves in any given situation when our own tank is running low.
Fall in love…. with yourself, first. In my opinion, before we can properly love and serve others, we must know how to properly love and care for ourselves. You know that saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? Well, that means even with the best intentions, we cannot give the best of ourselves in any given situation when our own tank is running low. Let’s think about that a little bit further… Imagine when you are driving your car with a full tank of gasoline, feeling confident that the vehicle will take you to your destination, and then some. After a while the gage reads that you are down to half a tank. You acknowledge the level, but know that you still have time to worry with that later… there’s no sense of urgency, because half empty could also be viewed as half full, right?! Lol! One-fourth of a tank…. one-eighth of a tank… GAS LIGHT comes on! Oh NO!
You’ve let too much time pass…. now, you are only left with a couple of options. You can stop for gas on the way to work, but only if you get up even earlier, skip breakfast, maybe run out the front door…. OR, you have to stop after work, after dark, at just the nearest gas station you can find, no matter what the neighborhood looks like. Woah! That’s a lot, but re-read that whole scenario and imagine that your body and mind are the gas tank. OUCH! It is really the same notion, it is really the same way that we sometimes treat ourselves. We expect our bodies and minds to keep going indefinitely without the proper fuel.
“Self-care is one of the active ways that I love myself. When you can and as you can, in ways that feel loving, make time and space for yourself.”
With that being said, we are days away from what has become known as the holiday to celebrate love, Valentine’s Day. Loved ones and friends around the world exchange candy, upscale dinner dates, gifts, flowers, and other expressions of affection. And, while you may be the giver or recipient of some, or all, of these lovely sentiments, I would encourage you to treat yourself just as well.
I have put together a list of ways you can show love and care to yourself. Sometimes, you have to think outside of the box, be creative and realize that there are so many ways for us to nourish our minds and bodies to fill our own gas tanks, before we pour into others.
Browse a bookstore for a book that catches your attention. Remember, it can be relaxing to find an interesting and light read, sometimes. Get lost in a good story that can take you away from your everyday norm.
Create a brand new recipe or update an old favorite. Make an entire evening out of it. For example, if you choose Mexican food, set the entire mood. Make a cocktail that complements the meal, and even play music of Mexican origin.
Enjoy a long, bubble bath or an aromatherapy-filled shower right in your own home. Turn off your electronics, light a candle, and just relax.
Come up with a new exercise routine. Working out does not have to be a chore. There are so many different types of movement geared towards strengthening, while relaxing you at the same time. For example, Yoga is a great mind/body exercise. In addition to physical postures, you engage different breathing techniques, and even meditation.
And last, but not least, buy yourself a box of chocolates (my favorite are pecan and caramel dipped in chocolate, just saying), and a bouquet of your favorite fresh flowers. Enjoy dinner from your favorite restaurant, do not be afraid to eat alone. It may feel awkward at first, but I know from experience that the feeling passes. Think about it, you do not have to share, and there’s no judgment about what you’ve ordered! Lol!
Now, I realize that some of these options are not as easy as others, especially when you may have a house full of little ones. But, part of the commitment to loving and caring for yourself means figuring out how to make it happen from time to time. We schedule appointments with doctors, supervisors, teachers, and even lunch dates with friends, the least we can do is pencil ourselves in, once or twice a month at minimum. If it doesn’t quite go as planned, don’t beat yourself up, reschedule and try again. Prayerfully, you have a long life ahead of you, you’ve got time to figure it all out, just do it.