Increase versus Deprivation
“: to grow or develop successfully : to flourish or succeed
: to do well in a situation in which you are given (a particular type of treatment)”
— Britannica Dictionary definition of THRIVE
What do I mean by “increase versus deprivation”?
Last year around the holidays, after voicing a desire to challenge myself to eliminate and/or limit a particular habit for the remainder of the year, a close friend of mine issued a warning. She cautioned that during that season of the year (a season often busy and overwhelming with travel, family, different feelings & emotions, and even bit of stress), it was imperative to be mindful of all aspects of our wellness.
She shared that while it does make sense to want to be in control of something during that time, it may be a better idea to focus on adding something I can control. She gave suggestions like meditation, prayer time, or self-care time.
What is truly beneficial about those instructions is that they don’t only apply to the holiday season, but to the daily lessons and learnings we face during our lives. Fast forward to now navigating life without my mom, after having lost my dad almost eight years ago. There’s an immeasurable feeling of loss, while also feeling lost in the midst of my new reality.
Without realization by either of us, that same friend gave me that same advice during a lunch a couple of weeks after mom died. I (again) shared my focus on eliminating certain behaviors from my life, and she issued the same warning….
How does the application of this advice change from one season to another?
Well, very carefully. Ha! But seriously though.
What I took from her advice can be summed up, as such:
Do what you have to do to survive, when necessary. Use moderation and be intentional about the choices you make, but the goal in that moment is to just survive. Once the situation has passed, use your resources and proper mindset to move towards thriving.
“: to grow or develop successfully : to flourish or succeed
: to do well in a situation in which you are given (a particular type of treatment)”
5 easy(-ish) ways to THRIVE (focus on increase) when the time is right:
Practice gratitude
Acknowledge the good things and good people in your life. Find ways to express that gratitude daily in the following possible ways: writing in a journal, praying, meditating, sharing your testimony publicly or privately… just to name a few.
Find ways to express that gratitude daily in the following possible ways: writing in a journal, praying, meditating, sharing your testimony publicly or privately… just to name a few.
Set clear boundaries and expectations for yourself and others in your life
Establish expectations for yourself and hold tight to them. What do you plan to accomplish? How do you plan to make it happen? What assistance might you need? What timelines are you setting for yourself?
Identify what your boundaries are and hold tight to them. If something (whether a situation or a person or a particular thing) makes you feel uncomfortable, limit your exposure to it/them. You can make known the reason, but you absolutely do not have to.
Be mindful of your own thoughts
Be forward-thinking. Don’t get stuck in the past… let go of its negativity, your worries, or your self-perceived failures.
Pay attention to your feelings. Focus on filtering out that negativity and bolstering that positivity. It’s good for us!
Nourish yourself properly - inside and out
Maintain healthy eating habits. Choose smart snacks. Stay hydrated. Move your body. Moisturize your skin.
Prioritize getting proper sleep
This is one of the best ways that you can take care of yourself. Begin by establishing a bedtime routine. Create the appropriate ambience in the room (relaxing and desired temperature), minimize work/household tasks, and shut down electronics! Reading or light stretching are examples of activities you can engage in if you still feel a bit restless.
January WELLNESS Bucket List
…without a plan or some intentional thought, our fresh starts and ideas may lose their luster. Well, that’s where I step in…
2024 has arrived… an opportunity to begin anew!
A new year sometimes means a fresh start. A fresh start sometimes signifies beginning something new. However, without a plan or some intentional thought, our fresh starts and ideas may lose their luster. Well, that’s where I step in and hope to help by offering a few (thirty, to be exact!) different ideas for you to add to your bucket list.
What’s a bucket list? Ha! Fair question. It may be a concept or a phrase that’s new for you. Plainly stated, a bucket list is a group of items, ideas, or experiences that are personally and individually compiled with the goal of being completed or accomplished within a certain timeframe (for example, a month or possibly even a lifetime).
A bucket list is not a necessary task, but it can be a motivating and inspiring tool that feeds your creativity and drives your ambition. The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to set goals, whether personal or professional OR relational or individual. The list can be added to at your leisure, or you can make a commitment to add items with a deadline in mind. Whatever the case, have fun with it. Creating a bucket list is not meant to be a chore, but a way to establish a working guide for yourself.
Now that we’ve got a better understanding of the goal of a bucket list, review the list below for several ideas that may get you started. These ideas are in no particular order, just consider adding them one-by-one into your schedule, your routine, your bucket list! No pressure to add them all, just pick out those that catch your interest. I’d love to hear feedback on how they work for you.
Try preparing one new recipe each week
Read a new book (try a pick from the New York Times Best Sellers List)
Visit a museum
Start a blog, vlog, or podcast sharing your thoughts and opinions (The Body Quarry Blog — The Body Quarry)
Take a cooking class (invite a friend)
Run or walk a 5k
Have fun with your exercise routine (try something new and/or invite a friend)
Make (or purchase) a journal to document your thoughts and gratitude
Bake a cake or cookies from scratch
Begin daily walking routine (start with 20 minutes)
Clean out your closet and donate your items
Treat yourself to a manicure and/or pedicure
Take a surfing lesson (I’d better learn to swim before I do this one!)
Organize/volunteer at a community charitable event
Focus on getting more sleep
Take up a fun and creative new hobby (crocheting, scrapbooking, gardening, woodworking, etc)
Pick a day to stay cozy at home in your pajamas ALL day (I try to do this once every couple of months)
Remove negative things or people or thoughts from your life
Try a new type of workout or hire a personal trainer (The Body Quarry's Customized Service Packages — The Body Quarry)
Find a job you love
Find something you love about your current job
Start a garden (one plant at a time)
Learn a new language (at least a few helpful phrases)
Adopt a pet from a local shelter
Take a self-defense course
Donate blood at your local donation center (you might help save a life)
Make a plan to decrease your debt
Go for a ride in a hot air balloon
Run a marathon (or at least begin training)
Incorporate a new vegetable into your meal plan
These are a few items to help start your bucket list or add to your existing one! Remember, don’t treat this activity as a chore… instead, it should be a fun and creative way to help us think “outside of the box” and expand/enhance your life’s experiences. Try to be as detailed as possible with your selections, that way they can easily become more real once planning actually begins. I’d love to hear your thoughts and any additional ideas you may be adding to your bucket list!
A Different Look at Handling Adversity
So, the question becomes, how I will handle this unexpected reality. How will I handle adversity? How do you handle adversity? I can sum it up for you and myself with three possible ways to tackle adversity…
adversity
: a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Overcoming adversity…
We are headed into the third month of 2023. What an interesting start this year has gotten itself off to. I was praying for reprieve and a refreshing in this new year, but God has had other plans. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely different than the expectations I had for myself and my family. So, the question becomes, how I will handle this unexpected reality.
How will I handle adversity?
How do you handle adversity?
I can sum it up for you and myself with three possible ways to tackle adversity:
Retreat, React, or Reset.
Let's explore…
Let me start by saying this is not the best option in my opinion. However, if I'm being honest, the thought of retreating has crossed my mind more often than I’d like to admit. From my perspective, retreating looks something like this: closing in on myself; leaning too much on my own understanding (or lack thereof); withdrawing from friends and family; drawing uninformed conclusions; looking through the Internet for answers (whether accurate or not); and possibly just feeling sorry for myself and/or my situation. Do any of those activities sound familiar to you? I’ve been there and chosen some of those options in the past and found that they did not serve me well. I should note that this type of retreat is not to be confused with retreating in the form of resting. Rest is very important. But after resting, we still get up and take action. With that being said, what else can we do?
Well, another possible option would be to react. To me, reacting would maybe include jumping to conclusions; resigning to fail; blaming and questioning; or just giving into an overall sense of pessimism. And while all those feelings are real and valid, the problem or issue at hand still has not been solved. How do I know this? Because reacting has often been one of my go-to responses. But reasonably, I’d much rather be proactive, when possible, rather than reactive due to my past experiences not having the outcomes I desired. Sometimes when our emotions run too hot and too high, unproductive and irreversible reactions can occur. And when that happens, an already unpleasant situation can be made worse, and the cycle has the possibility of starting all over again. That brings me to what I consider to be the best option for handling adversity.
My final and chosen option would be to reset. Based on my experience, this is the best option of the three. However, resetting can still be a struggle, seems like we’ve had to do so much of it in the past three years! I mean how much resetting can one individual be expected to really do?! But seriously, we have to do what’s necessary to push forward.
Figuring out the who, what, when, and where are all important factors in resetting… Who we can count on to encourage, support, and hold us accountable during this process. What actions we need to take to come out victoriously on the other side of the adversity. When we can expect to reach the goals we’ve set for ourselves. Where we anticipate this process to take us. These four considerations are of the utmost importance in resetting our mindset, habits, and even responses to certain situations.
There is no shame in having to start over… that is actually where our freedom lies. What a blessing it is to be able to reset and begin again. Take pride in that opportunity!
3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Setback
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will…
A Setback Is a Setup For a Comeback!
Maybe you’ve heard that quote before….. a book, an inspirational poem, a sermon from your favorite pastor. I first heard it many years ago around this time of the year. A visiting pastor gave a sermon with that title during Resurrection Week revival at church. While I cannot remember the details he shared, the concept definitely stuck with me to this day.
Whatever you may be going through at this time is only temporary. A “valley” that you may be experiencing at this moment won’t last forever, change is just ahead once you reach the top of the mountain…keep going. Keep the faith, you will come out on the other side victoriously! But remember, it may take a little work on your own behalf... read below as I explain.
As if the past few years haven’t been enough with the pandemic, war, national civil turmoil, increased illnesses, lost jobs & lost lives, we still each have our own personal battles that we are dealing with. Sometimes it seems that just when one particular situation is under control, something else pops up to knock us off our square. Feels like you cannot catch a break! I mean, seriously, what did you do (and to whom did you do it) to bring on these disruptions to your well-oiled, well-planned out life??!!! Well, don’t take it personally, you’re not alone. It’s all part of this thing called life that we are truly blessed to be living. So, what do we do???…..
Ways to Bounce Back
Set clear & precise intentions
Decide what you want your comeback to look like, what it should entail. Pray about it, then take action. That may mean speaking the words out loud to a loved one, making a list, creating a vision board, or even recording yourself speaking your comeback intro fruition.
And be specific…I’m talking down to the nitty-gritty details. Include each step you will take, today, tonight, tomorrow, next week, and even next month. We’ve got to be intentional about coming back strong, armed and ready to meet and defeat any obstacle that stands to get in our way.
Acknowledge what you may need to do differently
We are not perfect. *Gasp! We all make mistakes and poor choices. That’s all part of this life we’re living that I mentioned above. But it's all part of growing and getting better, bouncing back even.
Once you’ve learned a lesson or found the error in your ways, action may need to be taken on your part. This might include switching up your usual mode of operation, apologizing to someone, retraining yourself on a particular topic, or even just holding yourself accountable for your own private thoughts. Lay it all on the line, but at the same time don’t be too hard on yourself. Show yourself some grace throughout this process. Challenging situations can often teach us what we have left to learn.
Take care of yourself
Take your time and take care of yourself. There’s no rush in healing and regrouping. I mean we do want to come back stronger, right? Read and reread motivational, inspirational, or encouraging words from others. Earlier, I mentioned prayer because it has most definitely helped me through some of the most difficult trials of my life. However, I also know the importance of reading biographies, and certainly autobiographies, of those who have been there, done that…. specifically meaning that they may have experienced adversity and difficult times, but they are willing share their ways of overcoming.
Other ideas include getting outdoors, getting moving, and in turn, getting inspired. Wake up early to catch the sunrise with a brisk walk. Listen to the birds chirp to be reminded of the beauty that surrounds us. Complete a workout to sweat out any worries and get your heart pumping with anticipation of the change to come.
If I can leave you with anything, it’s to remember that difficult roads lead to beautiful destination. Be optimistic about your bounce back, your outcome could be something new and more exciting than you ever even imagined possible for yourself.
Make a Difference with Kindness
A random act of kindness is an unexpected, good deed done for another person. There are times when these small acts of kindness are planned or intentional, but other times they may truly just take place when the need or desire presents itself.
“Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.”
February is a month jam-packed with many special reasons to celebrate and educate ourselves. One of my favorite occasions is Random Acts of Kindness Week, which takes place during the week of February 13-19, 2022. According to www.randomactsofkindness.org, “The work to create a kinder world never ends”.
A random act of kindness is an unexpected, good deed done for another person. There are times when these small acts of kindness are planned or intentional, but other times they may truly just take place when the need or desire presents itself. Either way, these actions have the potential to really make someone’s day, whether the recipient of the kind act or the initiator.
My goal here is to share ways that you can incorporate kindness into the special occasions of this month and on any given day, for that matter.
Black History Month is an annual celebration in February of achievements by African Americans and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history. But it also provides the opportunity to be reminded of how much progress is yet to be made in our country, and the opportunity to learn how we can contribute to progress.
Act of Kindness: Educate yourself - That could take place reading books, visiting historical museums, watching movies and documentaries, or asking appropriate and thoughtful questions directly to others. Be open-minded and prepare to listen and learn.
American Heart Month is dedicated time when focus is placed on heart disease, the number one killer of Americans. According to www.heart.org, “during American Heart Month, the AHA and other organizations reinforce the importance of heart health, the need for more research and efforts to ensure that millions of people live longer and healthier”.
Act of Kindness: Learn CPR - CPR stands for Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, a lifesaving procedure performed when the heart stops beating. Immediate CPR can double or triple chances of survival after cardiac arrest. Visit cpr.heart.org for more information on the different types of CPR, proper training, and how you can help. You can’t get more kind than potentially helping to save someone’s life!
Valentine’s Day is celebrated annually on February 14 and is probably a holiday we are all pretty familiar with. Traditionally, known as a holiday to celebrate love, whether romantically or platonically. Loved ones and friends around the world exchange candy, upscale dinner dates, gifts, flowers, and other expressions of affection.
Act of Kindness: Remember those who may not have a “Valentine” - This could include by choice or by circumstance… friends, family, widows, divorcees, etc. Meet up for lunch, give a phone call, or even send a note.
With those specials occasions in the month of February being covered, now I’d like to share a few (30!) FREE or inexpensive ideas on how you can intentionally share kindness during Random Acts of Kindness Week and beyond!
Pray for someone
Tell someone you love them
Compliment someone
Send a handwritten thank you note
Donate clothing
Buy the order for the car behind you in the drive-through
Bake a dessert for your neighbor
Offer to go for a walk with a friend
Donate books to the library
Plant a tree
Mow your neighbor’s lawn
Give someone a gift card you don’t plan on using
Write a handwritten letter to an old friend
Offer an appropriate compliment to a stranger
Donate to a food bank
Safely pick up litter in your neighborhood
Offer water to the mailman
Take treats to the fire station
Hold the door open for someone
Send a postcard to a family member in another state
Write a note for your child’s lunchbox
Teach someone something new
Help your kids organize and donate old toys
Create a care package for a homeless person
Shovel snow from a neighbor’s driveway
Donate blood
Say “thank you, have a nice day” to someone who holds the door for you
Walk someone’s dog
Check on a friend
Smile with your eyes, behind your mask
These are just a few of the ways you can intentionally show kindness to someone you know or even strangers. And remember the well-known quote by Aesop, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted”.
Creating a Positive and Productive Morning Routine
The power of a positive and productive morning has the ability to set the tone for your entire day.
The power of a positive and productive morning has the ability to set the tone for your entire day.
When we get our morning off to the right start, we are poised for our own personal success, whatever that success may look like for each of us. Creating a proper morning routine is a great way to jumpstart us into thinking more intentionally about today and tomorrow. I know what you may be thinking… “I’m just not a morning person, I don’t really catch my stride until around 11:00am”! Ha! Believe me, I get that.
For the majority of my adult life, I have considered myself a night owl. After having kids, I found it easier to stay up late after they had been tightly tucked in. That was when I felt that I could best wind-down and take some time for myself. However, consistently staying up until midnight or 1:00am can lead to sluggish mornings. Then, those mornings turn into an afternoon slump, and an evening in which you can barely keep your eyes open. Finally, the late night process begins all over again… it’s a vicious cycle (I speak from experience)! I was never really able to catch up and get on track. I’m much better now, but not perfect. Occasionally, I still enjoy my late nights, but I truly understand the benefits of getting rest and waking up a bit earlier. Those same tasks and “me-time” that I craved late at night can be accomplished during the early morning, before the rest of the house wakes up.
With that being said, I thought I would share a few tips with you to help you with tomorrow morning’s wake-up routine. Admittedly, it is not an easy transition if it is new for you, but it will be well worth it. You will almost feel as though you’ve gained additional energy and hours into your day. These tips are in no particular order, just consider adding them one-by-one into your morning routine. I’d love to hear feedback on how they work for you.
Set an alarm to wake up before everyone else
Read something inspirational, such as a devotional or a personal development book
Pray, meditate, or practice a breathing activity
Turn on some music and dance
Sit quietly with no distractions
Make your bed
Complete a workout
Take an invigorating shower
Drink a glass of water
Open your curtains or blinds to let the light in
Recite a morning affirmation
Prep your outfit the night before
Write in your journal
Enjoy a cup of hot tea or coffee
Wake up your body with morning stretches
Review your to-do list for the day
Eat a substantial breakfast
Set your intentions
Give thanks for another day
Get quality sleep the night before
These are just a few of the ways you can get yourself started on your new morning routine. Again, it will be important to begin the process with a good, restful night’s sleep. That sleep will encourage and assist you with waking up refreshed and ready to take on whatever the day may bring. As with any new idea, plan, or task, the key is simply to START! Remember, if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. And, don’t forget, I’d love to hear feedback on how these tips work for you and any other current morning activities you have that help set you up for a great day!
5 Ways to Celebrate Women’s Health Month
The goal is to empower women to make our health and wellness a priority. Taking control of our health leads to us feeling and looking our best, and in turn, being our best in all other aspects of our lives.
The goal of Women’s Health Month
is to empower women to make our health and wellness a priority. Taking control of our health leads to us feeling and looking our best, and in turn, being our best in all other aspects of our lives.
There are five tips that I would like to share with you to help you make the most of Women’s Health Month. It is my hope that you are able to take these ideas and truly run with them, flourish, and let May be the month that you take charge of your life as the fierce, female that you are!
Schedule (& keep) your doctor’s appointments - Whether it is an annual well-woman visit, preventative screenings, or just your regular check-ups, GO! If you’re like me, you may have put off or postponed appointments you had scheduled last year during the height of the pandemic. Well, take the time now to reschedule them.
Get moving & stay active - Reestablish a routine, find a new hobby, even reignite an old passion. There are still so many online fitness options, and even in-person activities are resuming. But, remember, you don’t even have to leave the house… do laps in the backyard, go for swim in the pool, take your stairs, or do some leg lifts in the kitchen while you cook!
Make healthier food choices - We all love good food! Enjoy it! But, also strive to make healthier version of those favorite foods and drinks. Incorporate more fruits, vegetables, and water into your daily meals and snacks.
Don’t forget your mental health - The term “self-care” is becoming almost overused or even made to be more complicated than it needs to be. But, it truly includes tasks as simple as resting, reading, longer showers, listening to podcasts, going for a drive, or my pandemic favorite: sitting in my car in the driveway! No lie, this was one of my best actions taken to get a moment alone time and clarity. Hey, we do what we’ve gotta do!
Avoid unhealthy behaviors - These behaviors can rear their ugly heads in the form of relationships, thoughts, and excessive smoking, drinking, and overeating. It’s important to enjoy life, food, people, and entertainment, but all of it should be done in moderation or appropriately. and, only you as an individual knows what the proper amount is for yourself.