Increase versus Deprivation
“: to grow or develop successfully : to flourish or succeed
: to do well in a situation in which you are given (a particular type of treatment)”
— Britannica Dictionary definition of THRIVE
What do I mean by “increase versus deprivation”?
Last year around the holidays, after voicing a desire to challenge myself to eliminate and/or limit a particular habit for the remainder of the year, a close friend of mine issued a warning. She cautioned that during that season of the year (a season often busy and overwhelming with travel, family, different feelings & emotions, and even bit of stress), it was imperative to be mindful of all aspects of our wellness.
She shared that while it does make sense to want to be in control of something during that time, it may be a better idea to focus on adding something I can control. She gave suggestions like meditation, prayer time, or self-care time.
What is truly beneficial about those instructions is that they don’t only apply to the holiday season, but to the daily lessons and learnings we face during our lives. Fast forward to now navigating life without my mom, after having lost my dad almost eight years ago. There’s an immeasurable feeling of loss, while also feeling lost in the midst of my new reality.
Without realization by either of us, that same friend gave me that same advice during a lunch a couple of weeks after mom died. I (again) shared my focus on eliminating certain behaviors from my life, and she issued the same warning….
How does the application of this advice change from one season to another?
Well, very carefully. Ha! But seriously though.
What I took from her advice can be summed up, as such:
Do what you have to do to survive, when necessary. Use moderation and be intentional about the choices you make, but the goal in that moment is to just survive. Once the situation has passed, use your resources and proper mindset to move towards thriving.
“: to grow or develop successfully : to flourish or succeed
: to do well in a situation in which you are given (a particular type of treatment)”
5 easy(-ish) ways to THRIVE (focus on increase) when the time is right:
Practice gratitude
Acknowledge the good things and good people in your life. Find ways to express that gratitude daily in the following possible ways: writing in a journal, praying, meditating, sharing your testimony publicly or privately… just to name a few.
Find ways to express that gratitude daily in the following possible ways: writing in a journal, praying, meditating, sharing your testimony publicly or privately… just to name a few.
Set clear boundaries and expectations for yourself and others in your life
Establish expectations for yourself and hold tight to them. What do you plan to accomplish? How do you plan to make it happen? What assistance might you need? What timelines are you setting for yourself?
Identify what your boundaries are and hold tight to them. If something (whether a situation or a person or a particular thing) makes you feel uncomfortable, limit your exposure to it/them. You can make known the reason, but you absolutely do not have to.
Be mindful of your own thoughts
Be forward-thinking. Don’t get stuck in the past… let go of its negativity, your worries, or your self-perceived failures.
Pay attention to your feelings. Focus on filtering out that negativity and bolstering that positivity. It’s good for us!
Nourish yourself properly - inside and out
Maintain healthy eating habits. Choose smart snacks. Stay hydrated. Move your body. Moisturize your skin.
Prioritize getting proper sleep
This is one of the best ways that you can take care of yourself. Begin by establishing a bedtime routine. Create the appropriate ambience in the room (relaxing and desired temperature), minimize work/household tasks, and shut down electronics! Reading or light stretching are examples of activities you can engage in if you still feel a bit restless.